Sunday, May 24, 2020

Injustices In A Good Man Is Hard To Find - Free Essay Example

Sample details Pages: 5 Words: 1596 Downloads: 9 Date added: 2019/06/10 Category Literature Essay Level High school Tags: A Good Man is Hard to Find Essay Did you like this example? A Literary Analysis of Injustices in A Good Man is Hard to Find Flannery OConnorrs A Good Man is Hard to Find is a tragic short story that was first published in 1953 and revolves around a single family comprised of a mother, a father, three children, and a grandmother. The family decides to travel to Florida for vacation despite the grandmotherrs claims that an ex-convict by the name Misfit was headed in the same direction. On their way to Florida, the grandmother thinks they are near a plantation house that she remembers from as a young lady.. Don’t waste time! Our writers will create an original "Injustices In A Good Man Is Hard To Find" essay for you Create order After a bit of persuasion and deceit, the grandmother convinces her son Bailey to drive them there to see it. The grandmother soon realizes, however, that she is mistaken as to the location of the plantation house but decides not to tell the rest of the family her error. The grandmotherrs cat, that she snuck onto the road-trip without telling anyone, gets out of the basket and frightens Bailey so much that he crashes the car. Luckily, no one in the car suffers any injuries. Unfortunately, the Misfit and his two henchmen show up at the scene of the crash and gun down the entire family. In this essay, the injustices of murder, unjust prosecution, and violence in society, as they occur in this short story, will be analyzed. The Misfit orders Bobby Lee and Hiram to murder the parents and three children. Well, first you and Bobby Lee get him and that little boy to step over yonder with you There was a pistol shot from the woods, followed closely by another, (OConnor 24). The children and their parents are ultimately shot to death by Bobby Lee and Hiram for no particular reason. Bobby Lee and Hiram carry out these murders, ordered by the Misfit, without question or hesitation. The men perform these heinous acts casually and with no signs of remorse. No one in the family ever attempts to harm these men. Initially, the family thought that the Misfit and his friends would help rescue them after they crashed their car. To the familyrs surprise, the men exit their vehicle carrying guns and the grandmother immediately identifies one of the men as the Misfit. From what the grandmother says at the beginning of the story, it is clear that she fears the Misfit and is aware of the terrible crimes he has committed against other people (Bandy). Bobby Lee and Hiram commit murder, perhaps the greatest injustice of all, when they execute the three children and their parents. In the end, the Misfit murders the grandmother. She reached out and touched him on the shoulder. The Misfit sprang back as if a snake had bitten him and shot her three times through the chest, (OConnor 32). The Misfit guns down the grandmother despite her desperate pleas to spare her life. She listens to the Misfitrs complaints about injustice and religion. She even suggests that prayer may hold the solution to his troubles. She tells him that he is a good man and that she was sure that he comes from nice people. The grandmother, despite her terror, tries desperately to convince the Misfit that he has goodness inside of himself despite being a convicted murderer. She continues to praise him even though he has ordered the murder of her entire family. When she sees that the Misfitrs face is twisted and that he is about to cry, she reaches out to touch him. I n a final attempt to extract mercy from the Misfit, the grandmother identifies him as one of her own children (Bandy). Ultimately, the Misfit murders the grandmother despite her pleas for mercy and words of encouragement. The Misfitrs reaction to the grandmotherrs pleas for mercy is inhumane and unjust. The Misfit claims that he was wrongly convicted and imprisoned for the murder of his own father. My daddy died in the nineteen ought nineteen of the epidemic flu, and I never had a thing to do with it, (OConnor 28). From what the Misfit tells the grandmother, it is clear that he believes that he was wrongly convicted. He mentions that he is unable to recall if he really committed the crime that he was accused of. Furthermore, the Misfit was only told by the doctor at the penitentiary that he killed his father; he was not given any proof or evidence that he committed the crime (Shmoop Editorial Team). In a judicial setting, one can only be convicted after the evidence has been provided and proven to be true. The Misfit claims that his father died of epidemic flu and there is no way that he could have caused that. If the Misfitrs claims are true, then an unjust act was committed against him by those held responsible for enforcing justice in our society. The Misfit also claims that he was held in custody without being shown any proof that he had committed a crime. they could prove I had committed one because they had the papers on me They never shown me my papers, (OConnor 30). He was only told his offense by word of mouth in the hospital by the psychiatrist. The Misfit has the right to be shown the evidence that upholds his conviction in order to realize that his punishment is fitting for his crime. Doling out a punishment that exceeds the nature of the crime committed is an injustice (Flint). The judge is expected to provide the suspect with all the information and an explanation of why they are being detained. The Misfit claims that he was denied this right. If the Misfitrs claims are true, then the judge committed an act of injustice by convicting him without providing adequate information regarding his crime. Violence and injustice are an ever-present threat in our society. Seen a man burnt alive oncet I even seen a woman flogged I found out the crime dont matter, (OConnor 27 29). The Misfit mentions that he has witnessed acts of injustice carried out upon other people. He once witnessed a man being burned alive and a woman being beaten but never mentions the crimes for which they were accused. From these two examples, it is clear that there are injustices in society pertaining to crime and punishment (Flint). When the story begins, the grandmother is afraid of going to Florida because she believes that it is unsafe due to the alleged presence of the Misfit. Also, the wife of the owner of the Tower is scared that the Misfit may attack their restaurant. It is clear, in this story, that members of society lack feelings of security and safety due to the actions of violent injustices that occur to seemingly innocent people. The Misfitrs techniques of seeking justice are unjust in themselves. then its nothing for you to do but enjoy the few minutes you got left the best way you can by killing somebody or burning down his house or doing some other meanness to him. No pleasure but meanness. (OConnor 31). The Misfit chooses to enjoy his time as a free man by committing evil and heinous crimes. He seems to take pride in the fact that he has spent his time killing people and burning their houses down since he escaped from the penitentiary. Despite claiming to be innocent of the crime he was arrested for, he freely admits to orchestrating and committing terrible acts toward other people. By seeking his own justice through violence toward others, the Misfit commits acts of injustice (Peck). It is clear that the Misfit does not feel any guilt from his unjust actions. Furthermore, he mentions that he has realized that the crime does not matter. The Misfit is misguided in his attempt to seek justice for his own wrongful conviction. The Misfit uses unjust actions to seek justice for what he claims to be a wrongful conviction. This essay provides a literary analysis of the unjust acts in Flannery OConnorrs short story, A Good Man is Hard to Find. Several examples of injustice have been names a nd analyzed. The injustices in this essay include the murder of an entire family, the injustices in society such as burning a human being alive, the wrongful conviction of the Misfit, and the Misfitrs unjust actions in his quest for his own personal justice. This short story gives examples of injustices that may occur in modern-day society which must be avoided in order to maintain feelings of safety and security amongst members of the population. Works Cited OConnor, Flannery. A Good Man Is Hard To Find And Other Stories. pp. 5 32, https://m.learning.hccs.edu/faculty/desmond.lewis/inrw-0420/a-good-man-is-hard-to-find/A%20Good%20Man%20Is%20Hard%20To%20Find.pdf. Accessed 6 Nov. 2018. Bandy, Stephen C. One of my babies: the misfit and the grandmother. Studies in Short Fiction, vol. 33, no. 1, 1996, p. 107+. Academic OneFile, https://link.galegroup.com.cmsmir.clevelandstatecc.edu/apps/doc/A19638483/AONE?u=tel_a_clsccsid=AONExid=9f45db0c. Accessed 6 Nov. 2018. Shmoop Editorial Team. The Misfit in A Good Man Is Hard to Find. Shmoop, Shmoop University, 11 Nov. 2008, www.shmoop.com/good-man-hard-to-find/the-misfit.html. Flint, Thomas P. ON THE SIGNIFICANCE OF CIVIL WAR REFERENCES IN FLANNERY OCONNORS A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND. Renascence: Essays on Values in Literature, vol. 70, no. 2, 2018, p. 119+. Literature Resource Center, https://link.galegroup.com.cmsmir.clevelandstatecc.edu/apps/doc/A546217554/LitRC?u=tel_a_clsccsid=LitRCxid=8c10a060. Accessed 6 Nov. 2018. Peck, M. Scott. People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil. Simon and Schuster, 1983.

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Narrative Essay - Original Writing - 4539 Words

Prologue†¦ So this is my life, some say my name should’ve changed but I think not. My mother as a little girl was named Djeserit and in turn I had gotten Isis. When I was born, life was different as my mother and father were egyptians so in turn, I was egyptian but we were royals, so we were the rulers of Egypt. We could have anything we could imagine, it was nice and fantabulous. Then there was the one evening before my father’s Ka left him and we were rushed in to see him because the news had arrived so late at the palace. We were crying so hard but I hadn’t known what was really happening till much later. My mother didn’t want him to go as she had said something about marrying and death, since I’m now 16 and soon of marrying age, but†¦show more content†¦Soon when I was well, I would walk around, read and then I started back to my studies to learn the ways of a queen, while a boy my age would become my husband, or in a sense, the Pharaoh of Egypt. *2 years past by, Isis has already began to rule as queen and the Pharaoh has risen to power.* â€Å"Hello, my great majesties.† â€Å"Hello Simba, what do you have for us today?† â€Å"Well if it was alright with pharaoh ,I would appreciate it if I was allowed to speak with the queen?† â€Å"Yes, as you may.† â€Å"Thank you sire.† *Pharaoh leaves with servants and his scribe trailing behind him, so that he may give space for his beloved queen and the royal messenger.* Your majesty, I don’t know how I can say this but†¦ this might be hard to understand†¦ his majesty doesn’t love you. He despises you and wants you dead so that he can marry his only beloved Ashka.† â€Å"We still have time to flee for safety, as I had created a spell key that can teleport us to the future.† â€Å"HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THIS?!† â€Å"Please, I beg of you, quiet down, if he knows what I know, i’ll be suffering.† â€Å"Alright, when will we flee?† â€Å"Tonight, we have to, his majes ty is planning a celebration of your death, but he’s saying it’s for the hard work of all our workers. When you are with him, do NOT EVER LEAVE his side. He’s planning on giving you duties, so that he may pour poisonShow MoreRelatedNarrative Essay - Original Writing1733 Words   |  7 Pages When I had laid the last of the bricks I took a step back to admire my handy work. Still silent in the catacombs, I knew I should be leaving before Fortunato awakes. I began my journey through the endless tunnels of corpses and adorning tombs. I could smell the lingering fragrance of death in the damp air as I stumbled along the dark, uneven pathway. I soon became overwhelmed with the feeling of exhaustion. I began to yell, â€Å"Help, can anyone hear me?† The deafening silence reminded me of a fateRead MoreNarrative Essay - Original Writing1643 Words   |  7 PagesNarrative I was about ten years old when this happened. It was in the fall of fifth grade, and I had just gotten settled into the new school year. My dad was deployed to Kuwait, and so for the time being it was just my mom, my brother, and I. He had been deployed previously, so I was used to him being away for months at a time. One thing that helped me get through the times he was deployed was my school who offered a special class called TDY on Friday mornings before the bell rang. TDY (TemporaryRead MoreNarrative Essay - Original Writing1505 Words   |  7 PagesNarrative Essay on different levels. The doctor would meticulously watch our actions then jot it down into his documents. After the exam was completed, we were instructed to stand in two even parallel lines and wait Three summers ago, I proudly graduated from Samuel Fels High School in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Graduating from High School was one of the happiest and memorable moments in my life. I was puffed up with pride as I walked down the aisle to accept my high school diploma. I hadRead MoreNarrative Essay - Original Writing1435 Words   |  6 PagesRei, Rei! My little sister shrieks. Her piercing scream reaches me when I get to my house front door. The family room darkens; the air thickens. Without thinking I sprint to her room, but her door is locked. Since when did she get a lock on her door?! Rei! Shelly cries out. Shelly it s okay, I ll save you! I throw my body against the door, but stop when a laugh that always gives me nightmares, rings in my ear. I look to my right, and as I do the house molds into the Hammerhead s menRead MoreNarrative Essay - Original Writing Essay727 Words   |  3 PagesAdrian Box 9/24/2015 Narrative Essay ENGL 1010-09 - Disbelief, fear, and disappointment filled my mind as I sat in the driver s car seat tilted back, the smell of smoke and dirt was all I could comprehend. The drivers floorboard and dashboard met with my feet wedged in between being crushed. It did not hurt, my body was numb. My mind was running wild. What just happened to me? In the distance, on that straight, two-way, narrowed road, I saw cars and trucks driving by completely oblivious of howRead MoreNarrative Essay - Original Writing2052 Words   |  9 Pageswritten in months, making excuses and procrastinating, she finally sat down to end her guilt for ignoring her only current connection with the outside world. Writing had always been a hobby she could count on to help her find serenity, but serenity was all around her these days, so it had been easy to put her writing duties on hold. Now her writing was helping her to put things into perspective, things she wanted to understand but had no clue how to get a grasp on, especially the changes that were occurringRead MoreNarrative Essay - Original Writing1148 Words   |  5 PagesNarrative â€Å"Here Maya, as long as you wear this I’ll always be with you,† my dad said as he clipped a small bow into my hair. â€Å"I can’t believe tomorrow will be your first birthday, and I have to miss it. I love you more than the world baby girl.† He kissed my forehead as he lowered me into the crib. â€Å"Daddy don’t go, please!† I begged him, â€Å"I’m going to miss you so much.† â€Å"Munchkin I have to go, I’ll only be gone 2 days and it’ll fly by so fast that when I come home you’ll think I never left.†He huggedRead MoreNarrative Essay - Original Writing939 Words   |  4 PagesAs the light shines through the window of the wooden cabin, I sit up and stretch my aching back; I the smell of moist wood fills the air, and then I remember that it is time to work on the field. As I walk out of the cabin I see my friends. â€Å"Good morning Amara, good morning Quan,† â€Å"Good morning Yelmima,† they replied. â€Å"Are you ready for your big day today?† Quan winked as he said it. â€Å"Yeah, † â€Å"We’ll miss you,† Amara said. â€Å"I will say my final goodbyes before I leave,† I reassured them. AsRead MoreNarrative Essay - Original Writing1053 Words   |  5 PagesIt waits, concealed behind the fragments of carefree moments that crop up from time to time. It ebbs, the emotional tide before the mind’s storm. It strikes, leaving its victim motionless and defenseless and forever beneath its control. The dread, being stuck in a rut, is difficult to escape from. Perhaps I should settle for what is reality— probably forever impoverished, despondent, or a mindless drone for the man—and continue on the trail. However, when I’m stuck facing the corner, all I noticeRead MoreNarrative Essay - Original Writing889 Words   |  4 PagesBY THE TIME CLIVE finally settled down and stopped his cat screaming, I was thoroughly exhausted and wide awake. I had to get up in one more hour anyway, and I realized I’d already gotten whatever sleep I was going to get. I might as well get up and make some breakfast. â€Å"Stupid meower,† I said, addressing the wall behind my head, and I padded out into the living room. After switching on the TV, I turned on the coffee maker and studied the pre-dawn light just starting to peek in my windows. Clive

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Alcohol Prevention Free Essays

There is a rich body of literature that deals with intervention approaches for the large population that have problems with alcohol abuse. Alcohol abuse appears to be a grave situation, considering the huge number of adolescents who have a problem with alcohol and substance abuse. Thus, â€Å"[i]n 2002, an estimated 10. We will write a custom essay sample on Alcohol Prevention or any similar topic only for you Order Now 7 million American youths, 28.8% of total youths 12–20 years old, were current drinkers† (Society for the Study of Addiction, 2004). The gravity of the problem is underscored by the huge part of the statistics to belong to binge and heavy drinkers. The â€Å"US National Survey on Drug Use and Health in 2002† estimated that 7.2 million adolescents are binge drinkers, while 2.3 million adolescents are heavy drinkers. Heavy drinkers are those who consumed more than four drinks in five different days in the past 30 days. The staggering figures lead to the conclusion that there is serious public health problem among the youth with respect to their alcohol consumption. This problem extends to serious behavioral disorders resulting from alcohol consumption, such as alcoholism. The problem is even more serious because disorders that are related to alcohol abuse are likely to become â€Å"chronic and to persist into adulthood† (Society for the Study of Addiction, 2004). The problem with adolescent alcohol abuse has led to the development of various treatments, both in the private and public healthcare systems. These treatments often range from adolescent to adult care. However, treatment cares often result in relapse in 50-70 percent of affected adolescents. Therefore, there is a need for systematic approaches that are tailored to meet the specific needs and limitations of the target population, which is the youth (Society for the Study of Addiction, 2004). Treatments require appropriate diagnostic criteria in assessing alcohol use patterns of adolescents. For example, current drinkers may be determined by using the criterion that the person â€Å"consumed at least one drink in the past 30 days† (Society for the Study of Addiction, 2004). Moreover, there is a need to develop a framework within which â€Å"alcohol-related pathology† could be accounted for in the adolescent stage of a person’s life (Society for the Study of Addiction, 2004). The literature on the subject also has a huge space for the role of support groups in the prevention and therapy for people who have problems with alcohol abuse. Literature Review The article entitled Society for the Study of Addiction (2004) cites Liddle (2004), who reviewed therapies involving the family of the adolescent who has problems in alcohol and drug abuse. There are suggestions to develop   â€Å"adolescent focused, family-based therapies for substance abuse† (Society for the Study of Addiction, 2004). Family-based therapies are believed to be effective for the helpful recovery of alcohol-dependent adolescent. Family-based therapies often analyze â€Å"videotaped in-therapy sessions.† Such records help in the identification of problems and issues, and serve as bases for change and treatment (Society for the Study of Addiction, 2004). This article is useful because it points out how important it is to first determine the extent of the problem before attempting to solve it. In the case of alcoholic adolescents, there is a need to first know the needs and limitations of each person and proceed from there. Intervention strategies, such as family-based therapies, should factor in such details in order to be effective. Videotaped therapy sessions are also helpful because they allow all stakeholders, such as the alcohol-dependent person, his family, and the therapist, to have a clear perspective of the situation, through observation from a different angle. Finally, family members could be effective in helping adolescent alcohol dependents by providing moral support. Another article focuses on the â€Å"pragmatic aspect of the therapeutic process taking place† in the weekly-held meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. It also discusses how the fellowship had grown into a worldwide phenomenon since its inception in the 1930s (Arminen, 1998). Alcoholics Anonymous, which is described as a â€Å"therapeutic fellowship for those who are prone to addictions and over consumption of alcohol and other substances† (Arminen, 1998), encourages therapy through situated interaction. It’s motto is â€Å"one day at a time†, which emphasizes that the attainment of sobriety is uncertain, but reachable (Arminen, 1998). Analysis of the style of sharing implemented in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous led to the observation that speakers refer to speakers in previous meetings to show how the speakers are aligned. Moreover, this style has significant value as social devices that maintain the fragile relationship between members (Arminen, 1998). This article is useful in showing effective methods of dealing with alcoholism as a group, rather than as individuals. It shows how a method that deals with the problem one day at a time could achieve results. Furthermore, this article points out how Alcoholics Anonymous uses social devices to meet the goal of addressing alcoholism. Another article on the subject was written by Linsky in 1970 – 1971. It is an exposition of the public’s views on alcoholism, as manifested by themes of articles and images featured in popular magazines. Generally, alcoholism was viewed as a form of social deviance. However, in the twentieth century, society’s views on alcoholics were redefined. The article notes that changes in society’s views on alcoholism also influenced the treatment options available to alcoholics (Linsky, 1970-1971). How to cite Alcohol Prevention, Papers

Monday, May 4, 2020

Factors contributing to a successful marriage in early adulthood free essay sample

Marriage is defined as the emotional and legal commitment of two people who share economic resources, physical and emotional intimacy (Olson DeFrain, 2006). Marriage is an indication of commitment with an expression of closeness and mutual support (Saxton, 1996). According to Boyd Bee (2013), married adults live longer and happier with lower rate of psychiatric problems than single adults. It is because married adults lead a healthier lifestyle as single men typically more engage in the risky behavior such as smoking, drinking and drug use. According to Lauer (2012), marriage is also good for men in career development. They can focus more on their careers, as they know that their wives will look after the daily chores such as their meal, laundry and childcare. Moreover, married couples also accumulate more financial wealth by combining income and more responsible in their spending because two people are involved in the decision about spending (Olson, 2006). According to Lauer (2012), men need to be married more than women. We will write a custom essay sample on Factors contributing to a successful marriage in early adulthood or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page However, women have a higher drive to marry than men. All of the above show that a successful marriage is important and beneficial in adult development. What is a successful marriage? According to Cox (1990), in a successful marriage, partners have reached agreement for adjustment on most issues of importance for the relationship. Also, they are able to work together to solve most of the problems with mutual understanding and support. Each partner expresses satisfaction and happiness in the intimate relationship. Therefore I would like to discuss the three main factors contributing to a successful marriage, which are 1) intimacy; 2) communication; and 3) marital adjustment. Intimacy In Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory, an individual must resolve a crisis at each of the eight different stages of development successfully to achieve a healthy personality. In Erikson’s adulthood stages (Intimacy versus isolation), he defines ‘intimacy’ as an ability to fuse your identity with someone without fear that you would be going to lose something yourself. The  resolution of intimacy versus isolation is depending on the resolution of identity versus role confusion crisis. This means that it is difficult for adults whose identities are weak to develop intimacy in a relationship. They will remain in shallow relationships and experience a sense of loneliness. On the other hand, for adults with clear identity, they are more likely to have a successful fusion of identities, which we called â€Å"intimacy† (Boyd Bee, 2013). Rotenberg, Schaut OConnor (1993) stated that identity achievement is necessary for intimacy and so for marital success. There are gender differences in identity achievement. In men, identity achievement can be gained in different intrapersonal domains such as occupation and ideological belief. Besides, women are more likely to develop their identities achievement in interpersonal domains such as building up relationships. It is found that women learn intimate behavior in friendship with their female friends first and then socialize with their male friends. As a result, it is usually for girls to teach boys how to develop an intimate relationship (White, Speisman, Jackson, Bartis Costos, 1986). Therefore, we observed that men who are successful in their career development have a higher tendency to marry and are easier to make marital adjustment to achieve successful marriage. For those women who have close same sex friends, they tend to be more successful to maintain an intimate relationship with husbands. According to Saxton (1996), ‘intimacy’ is defined as feeling close to each other both emotionally or physically. Intimacy is closely related to the type of attachment style during childhood. Children with secure attachment style should be more mature and more comfortable to develop intimacy in adulthood. They are able to trust and depend on their partners. For children with ambivalent attachment style, they may be developed into adults who are unable to trust intimate relationships and often fear of being abandoned. They usually can only keep a short-lived intimate relationship. Besides, children with avoidant attachment style may be more likely to develop into adults who are uncomfortable with intimacy. They would feel difficult to depend on others and avoid forming a close relationship. Although our intimacy is closely related to the attachment style in childhood, our security of attachment can be changed continuously in our life span. We can develop a secure attachment with our partners when they are more caring, sensitive to our needs and willing to have marital adjustment to build up a more successful marriage. Communication â€Å"Satisfying communication is so crucial because it facilitates the growth of both marital satisfaction and intimacy† (Lauer, 2012, p.206). It is important to have open communication and agreement on the expression of affection to achieve marital satisfaction (Rosen-Grandon, Myers Hattie, 2004). According to Saxton (1996), the quality of marital communication can be evaulated in terms of the following ways: 1) Do couples send or receive communication accurately? 2) Are the communication between couples pleasing and reinforcing or displeasing and punishing ? 3) Do the couples share information which can enhance or break the intimacy, understanding, respect, affection and love? Does the communication helps or hinders their ability to solve the problem and meet mutual expectations and needs? For distressed couples, they have the tendency to exhibit negative reciprocity (negative message such as complain, threats and criticism are followed by negative message from the other person). This will produce destructive escalation of conflict and affect the marital satisfaction. In contrast, happy couples would limit the escalation by not returning the negative message. They are more likely to look for the solution for the conflict that cause the problem. Moreover, negative verbal or non-verbal communication between married couples, such as crticizing and blaming or slamming the door and leaving the room, would have a destructive impact on the overall relationship. The reason for such adverse impact is that criticizing one’s partner can create resentment and frustration which will further decrease partner’s motivation to satisfy one’s needs in the future. By contrast, positive communication can motivate partners to response to the unmet needs in a more positive way so as to fullfill the intimacy needs in the future and eventually enhance the marital satisfaction (Kirby, Baucom Peterman, 2005). Self-disclosure is crucial in communication, which is correlated of love, trust and understanding. â€Å"Self-disclosure is related to feelings of intimacy through individuals’ feelings that their partner is being responsive to them† (Laurenceau, Barrett Pietromonaco, 1998). People usually don’t reveal their innermost  or deepest thoughts and feeling until they feel it is safe and the person that they talk with are trustworthy to them. Women are more open and self-disclosing than men. It maybe related to our culture that girls and women have been traditionally encouraged to share their feelings. On the other hands, boys or men were expected to hide their emotions in tradition. Women emphasize more on talking and emotional sharing in their relationships while men focus on shared activities and narrow their conversation on sports, politics, money and sex (Saxton ,1996). Men feel comfortable to talk about their strengths and seldom talk about their weakness. Men are less able to understand the perspective of their partner than women do (White, Speisman, Jackson, Bartis Costos, 1986). Women are comfortable to talk about their own fears, weakness and shortcoming. Although there are gender differences in communication styles, couples in successful marriage are usually more willing to self-disclose themselves and learn to communicate their differing needs to each other. They have more constructive conversation with the ability to manage conflicts. Sometimes by overcoming those conflicts can helps them to have better understanding with each other and enhance their intimacy and marital satisfaction. Marital adjustment To get married is to enter a new social world. Couples have to adjust physically and psychologically when they live together after marriage. They have to adjust for the new relationships, responsibilities and living style. Marital adjustment is defined as the process in which an individual or a married couple modifies, adopts or changes their behavior pattern and interaction to gain the maximum satisfaction in their relationship (Ghoroghi, Hassan, Baba, 2012). Individuals who are more mature in intimate marital relationship are more willing to make adjustment for the good of the relationship. According to Lauer (2012), men are more satisfied with their marriages than women and they seems get greater mental health benefits from marriage than women. In today’s society, it is true that women have to make more adjustments in marriage than men. For examples they have to suspend or quit their job for childbearing. Also in the Chinese culture, wives have more responsibilities in doing housework than men do. Women will be more willing to adjust in their marriages if their husbands show intimacy maturity. Men who have achieved higher level of maturity in their intimate relationship are more adjust in the relationship. They are more willing to scarify, have more tolerance and see more consensus in the relationship (White, Speisman, Jackson, Bartis Costos, 1986). Adjustment is the personal change for the purpose fulfilling the needs of partners in marriage so as to build up a mutual satisfying intimate relationship. Couples who share similar relationship standards (individual’s beliefs about the qualities of an intimate relationship) can help to maximize the harmony in the relationship. They may influence each other’s beliefs about desirable characteristics for an intimate relationship, which foster more similar standard for greater marital satisfaction (Chi, Epstein, Fang, Lam Li, 2013). This concept is similar to the homogamous marriage, in which ‘like marries like’. That means couples with common race, religion, socioeconomic and intellectual background, will feel more confortable to be together and most likely to endure the intimate relationship. It is because they are more likely to have similar level of maturity in intimacy and easier in marital adjustment (White, Speisman, Jackson, Bartis Costos, 1986) On the other hand, adjustment in some marriages is more difficult because they begin at a disadvantage. For examples, couples with the financial problem and lack of maturity to cope with changes after marriage. Couples from a very different family background (not homogamous), there are many adjustments need to make. The woman who is pregnant at the time of marriage, there is an additional adjustment of becoming parents. The point is that, even under the best circumstances, adjustment is required in learning to live intimately with another person. It is more difficult or more adjustments need to be made if the couple begins with disadvantages as well as challenges. Conclusion Marriage is the most intimate of all human interactions. It is one of the important milestones in our lifespan. It can bring both great joy and terrible pain. A successful marriage can be a valuable resource during difficult time. To maintain a successful marriage is not always easy. If you had a happy family life when you were growing up, you should feel fortunate because such experience provides an important foundation and model for developing a happy marriage of your own. It will be more easy and comfortable for you to have self-disclosure and develop an intimate relationship with your loved one. If you grew up i a troublesome family, it  will be more difficult for you to build a successful marriage, but it will be possible. Countless individuals have transcended adverse family experiences and created healthy, intimate and successful marriage for themselves and their loved one. In the Chinese culture, marriage is not only two people’s business; it also includes two families of origin. Couples have to be more devoted in marital adjustment to manage the interaction and cultural conflicts between two different families. Although there are gender differences, we can accommodate and adjust ourselves and learn the strength from each other. Through positive and constructive communication, we can share our values and intimate standard with each other so as to minimize the gender differences and maximize the harmonies in the marriage. Marriage is not just a happy moment in the wedding ceremony, maintaining a successful marriage is a life-long commitment and career. We have to embrace each other with love, care, respect and understanding. With supportive and intimate relationship, we are empowered to overcome obstacles in the long journey of marriage.